When I read this article about Amy Glass I was so intrigued that I had to immediately read her blog. This was at 5:15 am as I was breastfeeding my 2nd baby girl (as Amy I'm sure was fast asleep in her cold bed getting her full 8 hours of sleep...something I haven't had in over 3 years) I was so disgusted that a women would write such a ignorant slander towards other women. Especially when she's supposed to be DEFENDING and EMBRACING the beauty of women and their accomplishments. I just can't let it go. When I see an injustice, I HAVE to speak up, it's just my personality. Guess what, Amy Glass? You have pissed off yet another "mommy" blogger...
I have been fortunate enough to have a career before I had children. I created a thriving catering business in Los Angeles and spent all my time doing what I could to make my business successful, which I felt it was coming to fruition. I landed large events with high-end clients, and was able to get the business to run events without me having to be there (my ultimate goal). It grew organically from me waiting tables and bartending on the side.
But I knew I always wanted kids. It wasn't something "society" made me feel like I needed. I have just always been a maternal person, and craved the experience of doing what are bodies are built to do...create life.
When my daughter was born in 2011 I had it all planned out. My business was at the point I wanted it at: surviving without me 24/7. I would have the freedom to do lots of the office work from home and have plenty of time to raise my baby girl. Yeah...I didn't prepare for what happened to me next.
I literally had NO idea how having a child would change me. I found myself so in love with this little person, wanting to spend so much time with her, raising her, teaching her, shaping her, loving her, watching her grow, suddenly my passion for my business was fading. It was actually starting to feel like a burden that was interrupting the precious moments with my child. Feeling this way made my business suffer. I stopped putting the effort into it and I didn't feel bad about it. I thought I knew what would fulfill me, and I had no f3%king clue! This child fulfilled me in ways I never thought were possible.
When my husband & I had the opportunity to move into a house and out of LA, I decided it was time to let go of the business. It was bittersweet in the sense that I originally thought I would watch my children grow with my business and if they wanted to take over it one day, they could. But I shed zero tears over it. I am so much happier than I ever imagined and don't feel like a failure at all because it was my choice. I will never know how far my business could have gone, and I'm completely okay with that. If I wanted my children in day care, and I didn't become overwhelmed with the love for raising my kids, I could still be catering right now.
So when some ignorant women without kids tries to shoot her mouth off about stay-at-home moms, it's hard to not just laugh. Amy, you literally have NO clue. You have no point of reference except what she can see from the outside looking in. You have no life experience. You are allowed to not want children, in fact, women who feel like you should NEVER have children. It's the women like you that do have children and just punish the child with a mediocre upbringing and resentment.
My sister is a career women. She has no desire to have children and I am 100% supportive of that. This is a direct quote from her; "If more woman could actually afford to be stay at home moms, this country wouldn't be going to shit... Children would have the luxury of growing up with adult supervision and attention...not that of Television, video games & computers to occupy their time. Turning them into soleless drones...Unfortunately this country has made it SO Hard for most families to survive on only 1 income so most mothers work and raise their children to survive, but if someone doesnt have to, i think that is the wise decision...I am definitely a career oriented woman myself with no plans on kids in the future, but if I ever did have kids, I would only want to if me or my husband had the luxury of staying home with them... It is the hardest job these days to raise responsible human beings..I say bravo to all moms, working or stay at home.."
Not everyone needs to have kids. And if she wants to have a party to celebrate landing a big job in her career, or having the opportunity to travel all over Asia, I'm there and I'm bringing the cake! Nothing is stopping you from throwing parties and celebrations for things that happen in your single life. Don't be a hater on bridal and baby showers, weddings & births. I love the fact that we as humans love to have an excuse to party! I'm not even going to get into how clueless you are about what a miracle life really is and how UN-"average" it is. Billions of women do it, and without us none of us would be here, so don't even go there. It's extraordinary. Only a women that's never put her body through the pregnancy process would ever say that.
Again, ignorance.
Women like you who don't want kids, that are disgusted with the lifestyle of housewives and think you are superior in every way, are always going to be floating around out there. That's ok to have your own opinions on how you lead your life. But once you start "looking down" on what a real housewife is, you lose all respect from just about everyone (except the few others like you). If you think that we throw in some laundry, push a button and complain how hard we work, you are more delusional than I thought.
Seeing as I have experience being a business owner and being a stay-at-home mother, being a business owner was a piece of cake compared to what I do now. We feed our children, cloth, bathe, teach them how to speak, numbers, colors, how to develop empathy, how to share, to be respectful, discipline them, deal with them pushing every button you have to test boundaries, tolerate the 78th time they have to watch that Christmas video, clean up their piss & shit while they are being potty trained, time every errand so you they wont be ready for a nap or have a meltdown when your picking up groceries for the week, clean the house, make the meals, take them to get doctors appts and make sure they stay healthy, organize and pack for all your kids when you travel, do everything I just mentioned when you are on vacation, deal with other kids and kid's parents with their different parenting styles, watch them grow from you being their entire world to being embarrassed to be seen with you when you are in public.
You get to go home at the end of your work day...MY work day doesn't end, sweetie. And yes, that's the life I choose. And as much as I'm not selling it to you with the above mentioned list, it's the most amazing job I've ever had. To watch this tiny person you created evolve day after day and to be the only one they want when they fall down, to kiss their boo boos or tuck them in at night. To feel the touch and embrace of your child and to see the look in their eyes of pure love for you. To hear watch them go from not knowing how to control their own limbs to climbing a tree. To hear them call you "mama", or tell you "I love you" for the first time...or EVERYTIME. To watch them get smarter, stronger, and more amazing on a daily basis, is obviously nothing you ever be able to contemplate. A little human that literally wouldn't be able to survive without you, and to watch them grow into a person with their own unique personality and abilities is the most rewarding, amazing, heart-melting accomplishment you can achieve. It's so unbelievably soul satisfying. There's a reason so many of us women have kids. The highs certainly outshine the lows by leaps and bounds.
So there's a reason most men don't want to be stay-at-home parents....they can't handle it! My husband fully admits that he could never do what I do. Especially not as well as I do it, that's for sure. I juggle so much more than him and he owns a successful business. Don't get me wrong, what he does is incredible for himself and our family and he is fulfilled by his career, but most men just aren't built to be able to handle as much as a women can. To me, that says WAY more about how strong, and remarkable a women is compared to a man (in my opinion). WAY more than punching a clock in an office Monday-Friday. You think punching in and out of your 8 hour day is hard? Try a job that is 24 hours a day! You make so many sacrifices to raise children, way more than you will ever dream of in your easy life. When you're a mother, you become your last priority, and ya know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. I LOVE the fact that when I go shopping now I don't come home with my 89th pair of shoes, I come home with a new pair of pajamas for my toddler and I can't wait to wash them and see how cute she will look in them.
I don't walk around feeling like I deserve some sort of medal. No one forced me to be a stay-at-home mom. If I wanted to be career women with or without children, my husband would support me 100%. I didn't create Mother's Day, but I certainly understand now more than ever why it was invented, and I will shamelessly take the adoration for one glorious day! I always appreciated my mother, but once I became a mother myself I sure understood & appreciated her so much more.
I'm the mother that posts a picture every day of my kids on Instagram & FB. Not because I need to brag or feel some kind of validating approval from my peers because I'm secretly unfulfilled, but because the little things in life, the little details are so precious & important to me. I soak up every moment with my family and am genuinely so happy (or sad, or mad) that I just want to share my experiences with my family & friends. Just as I love seeing all of their posts & pics and watching their kids grow, or losing that weight they were working so hard at, or getting that promotion, or what they ate for dinner that was so good it deserved an upload on FB. And I'm not sorry about THAT.
Bottom line is this: we all have different life paths. Society only can be blamed for so much. It's what YOU decide to do with your life as an individual that matters. Believe it or not, most women out there don't want to be a stay-at-home mom because that's what society has "pegged" us to do, or some mold we have to fit in. Most of us do it because it in our bones, we were born to do it. We crave it. We are passionate about it. It is overall a remarkable experience. And it's not for everyone.
I'm not better than you, and you are sure as hell not better than me. (except for the fact that you spout off uninformed babble...)
Wake up, Amy. You're poor mom can't be proud. (IF you even have a relationship with her, which would actually explain a lot)
My "Unfulfilling" life...right...
(photos by: Trinity Wheeler Photography)
Candice, this is beautifully said, but,,, unfortunately this bitch it is meant for will not appreciate it. She will look at your beautiful family not with a smile, but rather with an evil look only the devil possess. She is mentally ill with a cold heart. She is a coward, afraid of doing what only real women can do, get married and give birth. She looks at this life style as a threat to herself, knowing she could never handle this life we call a family. She is a coward is does reveal her face, and that is good, because i don't want to look at evils face. Don't let her sick thoughts get you angry, that is her plan. Just let it make you that more thankful and happy for your (our) family and know that you go to sleep at night knowing how much love you give and receive. This woman goes to bed alone, sleeps alone, will die alone. But wait! She IS taking care of herself! What a big girl she is! A real threat to society. She's a joke.
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